Bye bliss, welcome woe

A few people wrote reports of their daily Form 4 lives recently. None of them were happy. This one's just gonna be an addition to that trend. Leave now if you don't want to be bored.

This is what I'm suppose to do last week, this week and next week:

1. Revise Form 3, 2 and 1 maths
2. Read 1 chapter of Papa (akhirnya kau tewas jua...) novel everyday
3. Read a story in Harga Remaja almost everyday
4. Nail the moral nilais into my head so to be safe from the wrath of a madwoman teacher
5. Edit my photos and submit them on Monday. Then wait for judgment.
6. Do homework

Only number 5 is partially fulfilled. Frankly, why do I even bother? It's clear that they (the official ed board photographers) will reject me. Yes, I found out 2 days ago that I'm not an official member because "too many photographers" joined. So they have to give the boot to some; through an evaluation of their performances on Friday. I'm pretty sure my name's gonna be at the top of the to-fire list. Obvious reasons:

1. My pictures suck, comparatively (perhaps I've no talent in photography)
   
2. My camera sucks, comparatively (all the others have better cameras)
3. My bravery sucks, comparatively (all the others are very gutsy)
4. My height sucks, comparatively (all the others are so much taller than me)
5. My ability to execute orders suck, comparatively (I'm such a blur person)
6. Etc sucky factors
   

All in all, I suck; comparatively. So fire me. I'm content with the experience I got. I'd be happy I won't have to frustrate over school events, editing photos, deadlines, irking people, skipped classes anymore, and just live my highschool life peacefully. If I'm fired. Yet...I feel a little, no, significantly dejected at this thought.
Maybe I'll rejoin the Ed Board as a trainee in the Art Department (yes, there is one, or so as Meredith told me). But I don't think me ego allows me to do so.

Form 4's been horrible. I get homework nearly everyday. I still hate my moral teacher. My Physics teacher sucks, and Add Math's following her footsteps. I probably lost a few millimeters from climbing the long staircase with a heavy bag. BM is scary. The whole timetable is scary!! Most lessons seem so friggin' troublesome...need this...need that...do this...do that...life's not peaceful anymore. Form 4's a difficult, confusing year, but do they really have to complicate it further?? I go home every weekday feeling stressed/moody/melancholic. Worst of all....I don't get to do what I like so much anymore!! (notably the comp).

I'M SOOO HATING "SWEET 16"/"HONEYMOON" YEAR!!!!!!!!!
Although it turned out exactly the way I expected it to, lol -.-

We are in for a very rough and tough journey, girls. Just remember, no matter how painful it gets in this ordeal...grit your teeth and keep fighting and moving towards your goal.

VICTORY IS OURS!!

Anyway...enough with the depressing crap. I should crap more about thanking people. To certain people on a certain day....

THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING THERE
AND THE NICE GIFTS!!

I don't get friends willing to be so sincerely nice to me on my birthday often. Btw, this birthday can't really be considered my "16th Birthday" in a sense. It should be my 3rd Birthday. Why? 16-13=3. I scarcely have any memories from age 13 and below. Moreover, I don't feel "connected" to the "scarce" remaining recollections I currently have. But I don't like them at all anyway so what...?

I've said this before, I'll say it again: You're the greatest friends I ever had!! Includes those who weren't there at my birthday and didn't give me any gifts. For those who did, keep your hopes up for your birthday ^.-

*photos of bday trip not here cuz they turned out badly (yes, deleted)